Most of the people reading this so far don't have celiac disease, so they may not understand the difficulties. I haven't written because I feel like a failure. While I was doing a favor, and taking an old friend to dinner in a restaurant I shouldn't have been in. It was late afternoon and I was hungry. It was a nervous afternoon, and what I forgot is when I'm hungry and nervous I can't remember why I shouldn't eat in an environment where gluten is served.
I tried hard, asked the waitress to rinse the plate and silver, explained so carefully in English and it was translated into Spanish, that any wheat would make me sick, so please please be careful. I ordered and ate a small portion of beans and a small portion of red rice, and two corn totillas. In my house it would probably have been just fine. But there, in a kitchen full of gluten and prepared by people who don't know any better, it was a recipe for disaster. It wasn't even good or filling.
By the evening I was sick, nauseated, stomach ache, tired. And it continued escalating all week. It is now one week later. My muscles are tender, prone to cramping. I'm slow witted, a nice way of saying "stupid", tired no matter how much I try to sleep.
I had hoped to lead my readers with excellent and sensible behavior and choices. And here I am sick, for no good reason what so ever except I was hungry and lost the thread of my self care.
For those of you with celiac disease maybe you will understand. This seems to be part of the disease. Maybe somewhere there is a person with gluten intolerance who always makes the right decisions, who never is surprised to be sick after some small risk carelessly taken.
So that was the failure. The hunger comes after the gluten. Maybe because I'm not digesting well. I am hungry and it's hard to get full while eating healthy foods. At this point it's not gluten that's the danger, it's too much fat and sugar. And I don't want to gain weight. So I eat lots of vegetables and try not to eat carbs, and wait (no pun intended) for the hunger to pass.
Satiety is a word I learned twenty five years ago in a weight loss program at Cedar Sinai. Along with the liquid diet we were given lessons to help us keep the weight off. (Statistically almost no one in the program kept the weight off, but it was a good concept.) Satiety refers to how satisfying food is. So, if you have 500 calories to spend, what will make you feel the most full and content?
When possible, when I'm cooking or choosing food, I listen to the voice in my head. One afternoon I wanted a lot of cole slaw, and I ate an entire small cabbage with chopped tomato. One morning I yearned for hot and sour spinach soup, so I made it and ate it all, because, well, it's mostly water with spices and spinach. No harm there. And the afternoon I was worn out and sad and dying for potato pancakes because they remind me of my grandma and safe old times at home, I made some.
Yes, I bet I'm a pound heavier, the pants are a little tighter, but over all not a big deal. I wish I were smart enough, strong enough to never fall into the "oops I got gluten, again." trap. But as I did, and it's hard on the body and soul, I feel OK about rolling with the food longings. When I recover, my appetite goes back to normal, and I can eat to lose weight. But I've learned, for me at least, it's not possible to lose weight when I'm in a gluten flare. (In some other diet program, maybe weight watchers, I was told that a body struggling with illness will not let go of fat. You just have to wait.)
So, listen to your cravings, and do your best to accomodate them. As long as there's no real harm. I didn't pay attention to the "I want a hot fudge sundae" request.
The food is chicken soup with brown rice cooked in it. Wonderful for consolation, as well as very nourishing. Hot and sour spinach soup, sauteed chicken strips and sauteed zucchini from my garden, potato pancakes and tiny crab salad. Crab bits on chopped lettuce, tomatoes and onion. With home made dressing of the week: Mayo, marinara sauce, a little olive oil, juice of one lemon, bit of maple syrup, and some spices. It worked on the giant cole slaw, the crab salad, and just sliced tomato and onions.
Two things. One, I hear back that the site doesn't seem to allow you to leave comments. I'm sorry. I would like to hear your comments. I don't know what to do about this. And two, I didn't write any recipes because I don't think anyone is cooking this food. I would be so very happy to give you the recipes so if you're interested, just send me an email at barbara.keller3@gmail.com.
Since you can't leave comments, send them by email. I would love to hear from you. Do good - eat carefully. Tell me how it's going.
